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Speed Bumps and Stop Signs

by William

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I live on a high traffic street that lies between two major freeways, has a post office, a K-8 school and numerous residences. On the stretch where my house is located there are about 6 blocks between a traffic light and a 90 degree right turn. I am astounded at how fast cars can get going in those 6 blocks. Actually I’m not shocked at the cars themselves; it’s more that the drivers are willing to drive so fast on a residential street with a school on it. I know I’m sounding old, but it’s just not right to be doing 55 on a two lane street where kids are playing nearby and families are out walking dogs….and the speed limit is 25 mph and there is a blind crested hill.

Not everyone drives this fast. In fact it is only a very small minority that speeds. But like a fine meal ruined by a terrible desert the bad things often stand out the most. I don’t get irritated very easily, but when I see people racing through MY neighbor hood I just get fed up. I want to pull a complete “old man” and run out in the street in my boxers shaking a golf club and screaming “You damned kids and your motor cars!â€? The irony of course is that I like to drive fast, but I think I do it in places that are more appropriate like racetracks.

Seeing these residential racers makes me contemplate the extreme: lobbying for a speed bump or stop sign on my block. I hate 15 mph speed bumps and unnecessary stop signs. They are the bane of my existence, and for the last 10 years they have been going up all over my fine city making it impossible to get from the house where I grew up to the main boulevard ( a few short blocks) without hitting one. In one 2-bock stretch there are three stop signs and two speed bumps.

I often contemplate the environmental impact of making people stop and go so much, there are certainly increased emissions as a result. There is also the increased burden on your car’s drive train and suspension from added starts, stops and bumps. And the idea of putting giant bumps into streets which haven’t been repaved in over 20 years is simply comical. Save us the speed bumps we’ve got enough pot holes to deal with. Try just maintaining the roads for starters. But don’t even think about trying to get a stop sign or speed bump removed. From a legislative standpoint these traffic obstacles are nearly impossible to oust once they are in place. I think they are a real pain in the arse.
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Yet a few rotten-egg drivers are making me wish that I had a big red stop sign right in front of my house. Why do a couple of idiots always have to ruin it for everyone? If everyone could obey the speed limit and drive cautiously in residential neighborhoods there could be a drastic reduction in stop signs and speed bumps wouldn’t need to exist on the road. I haven’t reached my boiling point yet, but as soon as a pedestrian gets hit, or someone takes off my door as I’m getting into my car in the morning, City Hall can expect a call from me.

-Bill Mertz

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