Automotive Blogger

I just read a press release regarding anti-defamation suit from the famous classic car auction company Barrett-Jackson. The lawsuit, which was filed on March 15th in a U.S. District Court, was entered in response to a disgruntled consignor who was unhappy with some facet of the auction process or the result of the auction itself. According the release, “the consignor, apparently unhappy with the $300,000 sale price of his vehicle, placed chains and locks on the vehicle after it crossed the auction block and was sold, while it sat in the area where featured auction cars were displayed”.

The press release which was issued by Barrett-Jackson continues, “he posted multiple notices on the vehicle claiming that the sale was void due to claimed ‘auction irregularities,’ and published other false and defamatory statements about Barrett-Jackson in view of the company’s customers and the thousands of patrons attending the event”. Apparently the consignor was upset enough to launch an online smear campaign against Barrett-Jackson with “numerous defamatory rumors and untrue statements being published to websites and online chat rooms viewed by the company’s core customer base”. The press release refers to one particular “untrue, derogatory and defamatory ‘article’” which was published on more than 20 “automotive-related online ‘blogs’ and discussion boards frequented by thousands of classic car enthusiasts around the world”.

As an automotive blogger I know first hand that there is a definite lack of quality control when it comes to online gossip. However, I’m hesitant to jump in the Barrett-Jackson corner for two reasons. The first is that I have worked in classic car consignment and it is a shady business full of misdirection, deception and occasionally out right lies. Even if Barrett-Jackson is massive company with a long standing reputation, they are still part of that line of work (just like not trusting politicians).

Secondly, Sports Car Market’s own Keith Martin was recently tossed out of a Barrett-Jackson event for supposedly talking bad about the company for pushing the prices of muscle cars up and recommending rival auctions amongst other things. He may have deserved to get tossed even know he denies the actions, but I know people who know Keith, and while he does have a bit of mouth on him, he is a pretty straight talker and tends to tell it like it is. I trust his word more than the Barrett-Jackson, and think that throwing a journalist and auction specialist out of your auction because he is a being critical is a bit fascist.

That being said I will keep an open mind and reserve judgment on this particular news item until I hear the out come of the case (years from now no doubt).

Copies of the lawsuit can be obtained by contacting the clerk of the U.S. District Court in Phoenix or at: http://www.azd.uscourts.gov/.
-Bill Mertz

Barrett-Jackson, Sports Car Market, SCM, classic, vintage, car auction, race car, muscle car, Keith Martin, lawsuit

Get their side of the story on the SUVOA website

I admit I am hugely biased against the Sport Utility Vehicle Owners of America (SUVOA). They put out some incredibly stupid press releases and they come across extraordinarily arrogant. Supposedly they stand for the rights of SUV and light truck owners. What a noble cause. I didn’t know that SUV owners had special rights that the rest of us normal people didn’t, or that those rights needed protecting. I own a light truck that you might even call an SUV (my old Jeep) and I’ve never felt that my rights as a truck owner were being stepped on. But maybe the SUVOA knows some things that I don’t.

I got a press release from them today saying they are available to discuss the negative impacts of Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE) changes currently being debated in Congress. Communication is a good thing so I won’t harp on them for making themselves available to talk, but the release went on:
With sustained high gas prices, everyone wants better fuel economy so why shouldn’t policy makers tighten CAFE standards? Because history has shown that forcing vehicle fuel economy beyond what is technologically affordable results in vehicles that are more expensive, smaller, less powerful and with reduced towing and hauling capacity. There is no “magic carburetor” that the government can force out of the closet. There is no free lunch at Uncle Sam’s CAFE. If there were, why wouldn’t any one of the profit-driven car companies already have produced a full-sized family sedan or SUV that gets 5, 10, 20 more miles per gallon or more without these tradeoffs?

First of all CAFE is not that old–1975 I think–so there really isn’t that much information to draw conclusions from, and history will often times tell you whatever you want it to tell you. Secondly many of the profit-driven car companies also make money from oil profits. It’s no secret that there is a strong link between the two industries so making cars more efficient might not make certain people more money in the short term, although as Toyota has shown thinking ahead does pay off down the road. As for magic carburetors, dudes, new cars are fuel injected. But I have to admit a magic carburetor sounds pretty cool in a Jambi from Pee Wee’s Playhouse kind of way.

The bottom line is this: If there is a demand for SUV’s and light trucks that are affordable, get good gas mileage and have decent towing capacity than auto manufacturers will figure out a way to build them. Someone will develop (if they haven’t already) affordable technology to make this possible and the car companies will make massive profits and you can tow huge boats wherever you please. Or if you’re really bent on getting crappy gas mileage by a giant SUV from the last 10 years, Lord knows there are plenty on the market.

Let me restate that I have nothing against small trucks and small SUV’s (in fact I like them) or large trucks and SUVs for that matter when they are a necessity. I just don’t think higher CAFE standards will cause a crisis where there are no more SUV’s and light trucks with decent towing capacity on the market.

Sorry to sound like a broken record, but they keep sending me these releases and it’s hard to ignore them.

-Bill Mertz

SUVOA, SUVs, trucks, towing, gas mileage, CAFE, epa, alternative fuels

Fighting obesity and towing a trailer without an SUV

Just one day after getting riled up over a Sport Utility Vehicle Owners of America (SUVOA) press release that linked America’s growing problem of obesity and diabetes to the lack of towing capacity in passenger cars I received another release from the SUVOA and they are still at it. This release didn’t start out targeting lack of towing capacity in fact the headline, “Proposals to Increase Fuel Economy Standards Could Cause More Highway Deaths, Limit Vehicle Choice”, lead me to believe that there would be no mention of towing. But as I read through the text I came upon this paragraph:

“Faced with a shrinking selection of passenger cars with sufficient towing power, America’s outdoor enthusiasts have turned to light trucks for recreation. Light trucks have become workhorses for families heading out on vacations, towing trailers and hauling clothes, mountain bikes, skis, fishing and camping equipment, and other outdoor gear. If they tried to do that in high-miles-per-gallon compacts, the better decision probably would be to stay home and add to the pattern of physical inactivity and the obesity epidemic it has spawned.”


Maybe motorcycles are the solution to our small vehicle towing woes.

Give me a break. The better decision probably would be to leave your big honkin’ trailer behind and stay in a tent instead. I know for a fact that you can fit bikes, skis, fishing gear and camping equipment in or on extremely small cars. As a matter of fact I’ve taken my MGB camping on many occasions, and fit a tent, stove, clothes, food and fishing pole in it with no problem. I could have put a rack on the back and taken my bike or skis as well. If I want to do all that and take a trailer than I would have no problem with taking a truck or SUV, that is what they are for. But the idea that if your car can’t tow a giant trailer you would probably just stay at home and add to the obesity epidemic is freaking ridiculous and absolutely hilarious.

Watch out Prius owners, your cars can’t tow much so obesity and diabetes are knocking on your door.

-Bill Mertz

SUVOA, towing, capacity, hybrids, recreation, outdoors, camping, biking, fishing, trailers

I was reading through press releases today when I stumbled across a particular item put out by the Sport Utility Vehicle Owners of America (SUVOA) that I found to be extraordinary. Many releases contain obvious propaganda but this press release took things further using scare tactics to push for more towing capacity.

The headline stated “99% of Car Towing Capacity Lost Since 1970s”, a fact which on its own might be just an interesting tidbit, but in the context of this article was a frightening sign of the towing apocalypse. In fact I’m a bit surprised that the Jehovah’s Witness pamphlet I got today didn’t contain any info on the demise of towing capacity in passenger cars. According to the SUVOA President Barry W. McCahill, “The gutting of car towing capacity should be a wake up call that major lifestyle consequences could loom large as the nation contemplates the next wave of energy policy changes”. Sounding like another President I know McCahill continued, “The threat is on several fronts — California’s carbon dioxide law and the 10 states that have chosen to follow suit”.

SUVOA is deeply concerned that cars no longer have the towing capacity that they use to in the 1970’s. Their fear is that this lack of towing capacity will have a negative impact on our ability to recreate outdoors. But the SUVOA is not alone in this feeling; the American Recreation Coalition (ARC) sees the end of (towing) days coming as well. Derrick Crandall, President and CEO of the ARC, says that trucks and SUV’s are under siege as well, “Ironically, the only vehicles left that enable people to enjoy the great outdoors — SUVs and pickups — are under attack and could also lose towing capacity. Nobody intended to kill off the station wagon that was the mainstay for family transportation and recreation. But it happened”.

In a bold move worthy of a Ford commercial Crandall brought out the big gun and used the rise of obesity and diabetes over the last 20 years to his advantage. Cleverly, he pointed out that these health problems can largely be prevented by a good diet and plenty of exercise, like the type of exercise you get doing outdoor recreation… the kind of out door recreation that requires towing. Ah ha!

The war on towing capacity is upon us ladies and gentlemen and if we don’t act now, pretty soon our children won’t be able to tow little red wagons behind them as they walk down the street.

Sarcasm aside, I like towing just as much as the next man, but I don’t feel threatened in the least bit that passenger cars tow less then they did 30 years ago. It isn’t a conspiracy; it is simply that the demand for cars with high towing capacities isn’t substantial. That’s why we have trucks and SUV’s that can tow Boeing 747’s, and no I don’t think pickup trucks are at risk of becoming wimpy little toys that can’t tow a thing. Also who said the station wagon is dead? Last glance up and down my street and I saw about 5 of them, a Dodge Magnum, two Volvos, a Subaru Legacy, and a Mercedes.

Now my biggest point of contention with this article is the link between towing, outdoor recreation, and health. I spend plenty of time doing motorized recreation from four wheeling to vintage rallies and I would never claim that it helps reduce my risk of becoming obese. Similarly I feel that the majority of tow-related recreation won’t help much either. Just think of the things that people tow for recreation, Jet Skis, boats, 4×4’s, motorcycles, camping trailers etc… All of these things help you see and enjoy the outdoors in some manner but do any of them really reduce the risk of diabetes (ok dirt bikes are pretty physical)? But when doctors tell you to get outside because you need more exercise they mean go for a hike or a swim not go blasting around in your power boat. I know you can swim from a power boat, but you certainly don’t need a power boat to swim, see what I’m getting at?

So fear not, we won’t become a nation of obese people with trucks that can’t tow a thing. Obesity may be inevitable but towing capacity is here to stay.

-Bill Mertz

trucks, towing, tow, capacity, SUV, pickup, obesity, diabetes, SUVOA, motorcycle, boat, jet ski, recreation, outdoors

Hagerty Insurance, the same company that is famous for its classic car insurance, has announced a top ten list of future collector cars. According to Hagerty the list is based on research they did analyzing the reasons today’s collector cars are such hot commodities: pop-culture popularity, limited production numbers and the style of the next generation of collectors.

Without further a due, here is the list.

*Toyota FJ Cruiser

*Mini Cooper

*Lotus Elise

*Dodge Viper

*Acura NSX

*Toyota Scion

*Audi TT

*Chrysler 300

*Smart Car

I’m pretty conflicted on this list. I like the fact that Hagerty made it diverse instead of simply throwing a bunch of Ferraris and Lambo’s together, which would be too obvious. But at the same time I’m not really sure that all of these cars embody the ideals of a true collector. Right off the bat I liked the Lotus Elise, the Acura NSX and the Dodge Viper. These cars are rare, have unique style, and are amazingly fun to drive. I feel that possessing all of those qualities all but guarantees you a spot as a future collector car.

At the same time the Smart Car, Scion xB (I’m assuming they meant the xB) and the Mini Cooper are all small, practical, unique looking and fun in a slightly different way. They are also affordable meaning the masses can easily buy them and fall in love with them much like they did with the original VW Beetle and Austin Mini. While I’m not dead sure that these three will all be collectors I would say that there is a good chance that one or more of them will end up being a coveted car in the future.

The remaining four cars I have some doubts about. The Jag XK has nice styling but it wasn’t a revolutionary car, it isn’t a remarkable performer and it wasn’t a limited production car. It also wasn’t that cheap off the show room floor so the mass appeal isn’t their either. Not too mention poor quality control. That being said it does have Jaguar cache which has worked for other Jags in the past. But with so many other good sports car/touring car/convertibles available would you want to own an XK in 30 years? I don’t think I would.

The FJ Cruiser doesn’t fit the bill to me at all. Sure it looks like the old FJ40, so what. It is still a mass produced SUV, and I don’t think the nostalgic look and name are enough to make it a collectable.

The Chrysler 300 has me on the fence. It does have unique styling for the times. It is a rear drive V8 sedan, which is rare unto itself, but it is also somewhat affordable. I could see it become collectable much like a Chevy Malibu, Biscayne or Impala from the 1960s is a collector now. Kids down the road may be fond of them because they remember sitting in the back on family trips or remember seeing one at a stop light that had giant rims, but they I don’t think they will ever be coveted like cult cars or exotics.

The Audi TT I just plain disagree with. There are a lot of cars like the TT that look better, perform better and/or are more affordable. This would probably be the first car I ax off this list.

I also think there are some cars that should definitely be on the list that aren’t. I’m assuming they mean current production cars so I would include the Mustang, Corvette Z06, Mazda Speed 3 or RX-8, and Honda S2000. I know there are a lot more that deserve consideration so let me know what you think should have made the list.

-Bill Mertz

Top Ten, Top 10, list, collector, sports cars, collector cars, classic cars, Hagerty

A few days ago the SF Gate featured an article on the dangers of “ghost riding the whip”. The article discusses several people who have recently died from this phenomenon of dancing on your car while no one is driving it, and goes on to further discuss the implications of hip hop movements and their connection to ghost riding and side shows.

Here are links to 2 different side show videos, one is graffic and shows how dangerous the side show can be: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3uL83DTVZw
The other is looking for solutions to the side show:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-ccXcwuE64

There has been on going debate about these hip hop inspired activities since their conception. Opponents say that side shows and ghost riding are illegal and dangerous and have no place on public streets. On the other side of the coin participants and proponents feel that the kids in the inner cities have nothing to do so they simply have fun by doing these types of activities, some claiming that they aren’t causing any trouble and no one gets hurt. The latter argument holds little water with most people. There are statistics proving that the events are dangerous, and they are most definitely illegal. But they also frequently occur in the wee hours of the night. If you can’t find anything to do at 4am how about trying to go to sleep.

Many have called for an official forum to host such events. Bay Area rapper Mr. F.A.B., who has played a major role in the west coast “Hyphy” movement, admitted that the side shows have gotten out of control and suggested moving them into an arena, “it would be like ghetto NASCAR”.

Indeed it would be like ghetto NASCAR, BUSH league at its best complete with accidents and fights. I really like the sentiment of trying to organize an official side show, but that would be like trying to make Punk Rock music into mainstream pop, it simply defeats the purpose of why it exists. Sideshows came from kids rebelling against rules to have their own brand of fun. Trying to bottle that up and sell it may work temporarily but it certainly won’t satisfy the people who created it. Give them a little time and they’ll come up with something else to go against the rules.

Read the complete story here: http://www.sfgate.com

-Bill Mertz

ghost ride the whip, side show, Oakland, Mr. F.A.B., Bay Area, hip hop

Christmas always makes me laugh. Well it is not the holiday itself that makes me smirk but rather the ideals that this time of year supposedly represents and how people actually act in real life that makes me chuckle. To give a good example, I often eat lunch on a popular shopping strip in Berkeley (they also happen to have good cheap eats). Most of the year the street is heavy with foot and car traffic and everyone seems friendly and happy to be out. Around Christmas time things change dramatically. Suddenly there is a huge wave of traffic, gridlock on both the sidewalk and the streets as people scramble to do their business, and while you may never hear a single horn the rest of the year, the two weeks before Christmas sounds like a Ricola commercial. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a loud horn and a middle finger.

While I’m somewhat amused by this contradictory behavior a part of me is also saddened that the real meaning of the season has become lost. But on Christmas day everything seemed great, nothing was going wrong, “was the Christmas spirit really lost” I wondered? I had pulled my MG hurriedly into my driveway partially blocking the sidewalk. Normally I would pull all the way into the garage, but I was in a hurry to make it to Christmas dinner and I figured their wouldn’t be a lot of foot traffic today so I left my little car there while I went to a relatives house for a few hours then returned home. I climbed into my MGB to go meet up with some friends when I noticed that the windshield wiper was bent 90 degrees. It was mangled in such a way that the wiper arm was still contacting the windshield but the blade was facing up to the sky instead of toward the glass. At first I thought it must have been a freak accident, maybe the wind had done it. But there was no way the wind could twist the metal arm so perfectly, this must have been a person giving me a late Christmas present.

Fortunately for me my MG currently only has one wiper (it has since I’ve owned it and I’ve never bothered replacing the other), so there was less damage to be done, but still the prank was starting to make my blood boil. As I sat there I couldn’t help but imagine some 14 year old punks twisting up my already battered automobile on Christmas day; what the heck is wrong with this world? Then it occurred to me that I could probably just bend the thing back and it would be as a good as new. So without moving from the driver’s seat I unrolled my window and reached my ape-like arm around to the wiper. With a simple twist the wiper arm bent nearly perfectly back into position. A quick test of the wiper revealed it was working perfectly, no harm done. My mood changed drastically from furious to jovial. Suddenly I wished the wiper bender could have been there to see me effortlessly fix his vandalism without breaking a sweat or losing my composure. I felt like car-Gandhi practicing non-violent resistance to the British Empire of car vandalism.

As I drove off feeling merry, I couldn’t help but remember when I was a young and rather destructive child. I used to walk around my neighborhood looking for cars that had metal valve stem caps, if I spotted a car that had them I would promptly take them off. I can even remember putting nails under people’s tires when I was really young and especially stupid. So maybe whoever bent my wiper isn’t such a bad person, they are just going through that destructive phase of youth. I still think they should be punished if they get caught, just as I was when I got caught, but I can’t help but laugh at how life goes full circle some times. I guess that’s what they call Karma.

-Bill Mertz

windshield wipers, Christmas, vandalism, karma

I was just thinking about how horrible most SUV’s looked when it occurred to me to make a top ten list of the ugliest monsters on the road. This is actually much more challenging than it sounds. There really isn’t a whole lot that separate these SUV’s aesthetically except for grills and taillights, but I think my list represents a pretty sizeable chunk of the most horrible looking creations on four wheels. I should quickly mention that it is painfully hard to make an SUV that is not ugly. Personally I like SUVs that are more utilitarian and really haven’t been styled much at all. It is the SUV’s that are styled to look utilitarian but aren’t at all that really bug me.

1. Pontiac Aztec (2001-2005)
Designed by committee, need I say more!

2. Hummer H2 (2003-present)
Oh let me count the ways that I hate this “wish I was an H1 Hummer” Hummer. It is bulbous and offensive, and not nearly as capable as its older brother. Not to mention that you rarely see them doing anything that necessitates the use of four wheel drive.

3. Buick Rendezvous (2002-present)
This is really similar to the Aztek but horrible enough in its own right to make the list. Amazing that one parent company can produce two vehicles that are so distinctly ugly in different ways.

4. Chevy Avalanche (2002-2006)
I guess this is more of an SUT, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is horrible. It looks like a 5 year old got loose in daddy’s model car boxes and built his own creation.

5. Subaru B9 Tribeca (2005-present)
The grill alone makes me want to upchuck. I believe the designer previously worked for Alfa Romeo and just flipped the classic Alfa grill upside down. It will take more than that to make this Subaru even remotely attractive.

6. Lincoln MKX (2007)

I don’t know if it’s the tail light that stripes all the way across the back or the recessed front grill/headlight treatment complete with unibrow chrome on top, but something about this new Lincoln rubs me the wrong way.

7. Mercury Mountaineer (second and third gen. 2002-present)
In its first generation the Mountaineer was simply a rebadged Ford Explorer, still not pretty but tolerable. Then Mercury decided to set the Mountaineer apart with some unique styling. Congratulations, this thing stands out like a pimple faced teenager at a super model convention.

8. Nissan Murano (2003-present)
I actually didn’t realize the hideousness of this vehicle until I was searching around Nissan’s website. This thing looks like it crashed into the forest where ugly sticks are harvested.

9. Dodge Nitro (2007)

I was going to put the Durango on my ugly SUV list, but then I saw the new Nitro. The motto for the Dodge Nitro is “Go Bold or Go Home”. See you guys at my house. I guess “bold” sells, but to me the gargantuan plastic flares look cheap and the tall roof line and narrow headlights give the Nitro horrible proportions. This is one horrendous looking ride.

10. Toyota FJ Cruiser (2007)
Last but not least is a vehicle that many people think looks great, not me. I must admit I like the original FJ 40 Land Cruisers. Much like my Jeep they were simple and functional vehicles, but I would never accuse one of being attractive, my Jeep either for that matter. The simple fact is I like these vehicles because they go places normal trucks can’t, and as a result the ugly look has grown on me. Now the FJ Cruiser looks like a bad plastic caricature of the old FJ40 and frankly I think it’s insulting to the old Toyota. I doubt that the new Cruiser is anywhere near as capable as the trusty old FJ’s.

Well that’s my list; I know many will disagree so let’s hear what you think.

-Bill Mertz

ugly, top ten, SUV, ugliest SUV, Pontiac Aztek, Hummer H2, Buick Rendezvous, Chevrolet Avalanche, Subaru B9 Tribeca, Lincoln MKX, Mercury Mountaineer, Nissan Murano, Dodge Nitro, Toyota FJ Cruiser

Series II Lambretta, sketch by David Irving.

As some of you know I have vintage Italian scooter, a 1959/60 Lambretta LI 125 (series II). I bought the little scoot right after I graduated from college. The 1950’s styling and amazing patina spoke to me in ways that shiny new motorcycles never could, so I plopped down $1200, loaded it up in the back of my friends Toyota pickup and headed home. Having never ridden scooters or motorcycles before, I fired up the Lambretta and went about teaching myself to ride. I had one close call that involved too much throttle and a parked car, but soon enough I was competent and comfortable on the scooter.

I bought myself an open face helmet on Craigslist and began riding the scooter to work. Not long after that two of my good friends got Lambrettas as well and we began going to vintage scooter rides in San Francisco. On one of these events while doing some scooter drag racing I accidentally figured out that my little 125cc two-stroke scooter could pull a wheelie under hard acceleration. I was stunned at first but soon my shock turned to confidence and confidence to arrogance and… well it lead to an expensive accident.

This one’s not me, but you get the idea.

While riding our Lambrettas to dinner one night my friend and I pulled up to a stoplight and saw some little kids waving and pointing at the scooters. I got really fired up that they were into our Lambrettas and I decided to try and put on a show. I pulled up to a 15 mph speed bump and goosed the throttle popping a pretty good sized wheelie. But when the antiquated front suspension hit the ground the scooter went completely out of control. I knew I was going down so I tried to lay the scooter on its side but it bucked me off hard. I smacked the ground with my left shoulder first followed by the side of my head, then I rolled forward and my face hit the ground. It felt like all my teeth had been knocked. In a state of shock I hopped up and ran to the nearest car mirror. To my horror I had a massively split lip and had seriously chipped two of my upper front teeth off, amazingly enough the scooter kept idling on its side all the while.

When I got home I tended to the road rash on my elbow, knee and ankle (asphalt will rash you right through a leather jacket). I got checked out for a concussion, and then went in to have my teeth worked on. Months of fitting and refitting, a painful root canal, a self conscious smile and thousands of no-dental-insurance dollars later and my teeth look just fine. I now have a gold front tooth with a porcelain veneer and it looks better than before.

Chunks of my teeth may be missing but I still flash a smile.

As soon as the accident happened I promised myself I would buy a good full face helmet. Don’t get me wrong, I know the big lesson is “don’t stunt on your scooter or ride it recklesslyâ€?, furthermore I know that the open face helmet saved my ass by taking the initial impact on the ground, but I also realize that my face could have been much worse than it was after this low speed accident.

That was three years ago, and I still have an open face helmet. I also have dental insurance, but I’ve been feeling really guilty about not coming through on my promise to myself. Yesterday was my birthday and my girlfriend came through big where I could not. She bought me a nice Nolan N100 flip face helmet, the one I told her I was eyeing months ago, but never caught on that she was listening. All I have to do is go pick out a color and size and bring it home. But don’t worry, I won’t tempt fate and ride my scooter to pick it up.

Nolan N100 flip front, full-face helmet.

After my accident I highly recommend full face helmets to anyone riding a motorized two-wheeled machine. While there are other lessons to be learned about safety and arrogance from my story, buying a full face helmet is a no-brainer. It’s like using your seat belt; you may be able to drive safely without one, but if you put it on and have an accident that isn’t your fault it might just save you from serious injury or death.
Keep two wheels down.

-Bill Mertz

Lambretta, Series II, LI125, Motorcycle, Scooter, Nolan N100, accident, full face helmet, open face helmet

I’ve never owned a car that didn’t rattle and squeak a little, but even I have my limits. My Jeep has always put out a good rattle on the freeway. With mud tires that are always going out of balance, it seems that 4th gear causes an ash tray full of change to start singing right around 2000 rpm. In the past I would just live with these rattles, but after swapping a modern fuel-injected motor into my CJ7 I decided that the Jeep deserved to be treated a little better, so I started going after each rattle I heard.

My 1986 Jeep CJ7. I can just hear it squeaking.
Chasing rattles is no easy task but after tightening loose bolts, lubing grease fittings, adding shims to doors, and sticking empty matchbooks in windows I eventually got the rattles to a minimum. Of course, that’s when the mother of all rattles decided to strike. While driving on the freeway I heard a noise that sounded like a chipmunk caught in a washing machine. It was shrill, loud, and horrible. I limped home very cautiously fearing a mechanical problem, but after an extremely thorough vehicle inspection I found nothing. Worse yet the rattle seemed to occur completely at random.

More tightening and lubing proved futile. Just when I thought I found the source and fixed it, the chipmunks would sing their siren song. So I decided to give up and just live with it. It wasn’t a mechanical problem so there was no real danger, only a foul sound in my ear. After a month of looking the other way toward my death rattle, the sound has completely vanished. It was almost as if someone was trying to get me angry and when they found out it wasn’t working they simply gave up.
I’m sure there is a lesson to be learned in all of this, but I have no idea what it is… perhaps it’s as simple as: “why don’t you just leave well enough alone?”

-Bill Mertz

rattle, Jeep, CJ7, squeak

On January 1, 2005 a California State law went into effect requiring motorists to turn their headlights on whenever they are using their wipers for long intervals, such as driving in the rain or heavy fog. The California Drivers Handbook states, “You must turn on your headlights if snow, rain, fog, or low-visibility (1000 feet or less) require the use of windshield wipers.” At the time the law passed I remember thinking that it would be pretty hard to spread the word on the new rule. My worries have been confirmed.

It can be difficult to see out of a foggy windshield or window in the rain.
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This week while working at the restoration shop I took a little time out to help a friend with a side job. It seemed his parents’ Toyota Previa was having trouble starting. A quick glance under the hood revealed a corroded positive battery terminal. The terminal end was a replaceable bolt-on type so we figured we could replace it with a new terminal and be on our way. After digging through the bin of Alfa Romeo electrical parts we couldn’t find a suitable part and had to run down the street to the local German parts vendor to find a terminal that would work.
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I live on a high traffic street that lies between two major freeways, has a post office, a K-8 school and numerous residences. On the stretch where my house is located there are about 6 blocks between a traffic light and a 90 degree right turn. I am astounded at how fast cars can get going in those 6 blocks. Actually I’m not shocked at the cars themselves; it’s more that the drivers are willing to drive so fast on a residential street with a school on it. I know I’m sounding old, but it’s just not right to be doing 55 on a two lane street where kids are playing nearby and families are out walking dogs….and the speed limit is 25 mph and there is a blind crested hill.
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Most people from outside of California (and some from here) don’t think the Bay Area has real seasons. The climate is so temperate, that its sort of stays the same all year round. Well I disagree. We do have a mild climate, but as soon as you try owning an open-top vehicle, especially a Jeep, you will appreciate the Bay Area’s seasons. In the summer I can drive around in a t-shirt, shorts and flip flops with no doors or top on my Jeep and be pretty comfortable. Spring and early fall usually require doors and a bikini top (like a soft targa roof that covers the front 2 seats). Later in fall and in really early spring your hands and feet start to get numb if you don’t blast the heater, and a beanie, long pants, hooded sweatshirt and scarf are a must. Winter, you basically need a ski suit, and you are still cold, unless you have the hard top on, in which case it is possible to be luke-warm.

CJ7 with bikini top fitted.
Today I put the fiberglass hardtop back onto my Jeep CJ7. This is usually about the time that I do it every year depending on things like rainfall and temperature. I was actually doing pretty well with the top off until a recent bout of showers got me thinking. The capper was last night when I woke up at 3:30 AM and heard the light patting of rain. You see normally if I know rain is coming I will cover the Jeep with a tarp, but this rain was unexpected. The CJ’s electrical system, namely the horn, has been known to short out when in the open rain setting the horn off at full-volume until such time that the police arrive at my door. So as soon as I heard the rain I ran outside in my boxer shorts in the wee hours of the morning and put a plastic-bag over the steering wheel to keep the horn-button dry. The next morning as I woke up feeling groggy and terrible I knew the top needed to go back on the Jeep.

Putting the top on is a relatively simple task. It takes two or three people, depending on spinach intake, to lift it onto the Jeep; then you simply fasten it to the body with about 8 bolts. It takes about a half hour including a 15 minute beer brake. But for some reason I dread doing this job. I don’t know if it’s because putting the top on means the end of nice sun-shiny days, or because there will be no papers that I needed to file my taxes flying out of my vehicle. Maybe it is the musty smell that the Jeep develops every winter from small leaks and lack of adequate ventilation. Whatever it is putting the top on sucks.

But once it is on the car is transformed to a vehicle I can use every day; a vehicle where I can feel the heat from the heater and actually hear the radio (if it had one). And you know, when I first put the top on each year, I even like the looks of the CJ a little better. Of course the exact same is true when I take the top off every year. So for now I will try to enjoy the closed-roof Jeep experience until next spring when I will undoubtedly take the top off to early and get rained on for a month.
-Bill Mertz

Jeep, CJ7, rain, seasons, hardtop

I’ve been pondering the topic of old-age and driving all week. It all started over a discussion I had with a co-worker over whether or not older drivers are unsafe, or if it is simply that the rest of us are too impatient and aggressive. I consider myself a pretty aggressive driver and have definitely caught myself getting a little aggravated at older drivers because they were taking their time. I’ve driven enough with elderly people to know that they can be a bit slow to respond, but I was also a 16 year old driver not that long ago and I know that young bucks tend to be way more aggressive and reckless as a whole. I think there is truth to both sides of the argument.

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