Automotive Blogger

We here at Automotive Blogger wish you a safe and happy holiday, and will refrain from mentioning the Thanksgiving when we were thirteen, and the family car broke down in the middle of nowhere in a rain storm, in the Days Before Cell Phones.

Instead we offer this link to eHow on How to cook a turkey on your engine.

Please note, we offer it as entertainment, and strongly recommend that you choose a more conventional method of cooking the family bird, one that involves an oven. Or a grill. And lots of hungry relatives giving advice.

Halloween may not be til Wednesday, but this is Halloween weekend. What better time to rent a stack of cheesy auto-related horror movies, light a fire, and curl up on the sofa with popcorn? Need some suggestions? Here are five horror movies involving cars or trucks. (Vampires on motorcycles, we saved for another occasion.)

1. 
   The Car: “There’s nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, no way to stop… THE CAR.” Released in 1977, and starring James Brolin, this is about a possessed car that stalks and kills its victims.
2. 
   Christine: “How do you kill something that can’t possibly be alive?” Released in 1983, directed by John Carpenter, based on the novel by Stephen King, and the classic car-related horror film
3. 
   Duel: “A duel is about to begin between a man, a truck, and an open road. Where a simple battle of wits is now a matter of life and death.” Steven Spielberg’s first directorial outing - years before Jaws, and way more scary. Released in 1971.
4. 
   The Hitcher: “Never pick up strangers.” Originally released in 1986, remade in January 2007, and scary either way. The truck in this movie isn’t so much a character as an instrument of torture. Twilight Zone-esque plot twists, and much gore.
5. 
   Maximum Overdrive: “Who Made Who?” Released in 1986, and based on Stephen King’s short story, “Trucks,” this is a movie about a group of trucks that come to life and become homicidal.

We’re always on the lookout for interesting Women on Wheels, whether they’re NASCAR drivers, members of the automotive industry as businesswomen, or just fascinating enthusiasts. It’s this latter designation that we feel describes Linda R. Moore.

In 2003, Ms. Moore was planning a month-long solo motorcycle trip around the southwestern United States. Life got in the way, and her plans had to be rearranged, but in 2005 she did make a motorcycle journey from California’s Silicon Valley to a point deep in the heart of Texas, and, as if that wasn’t enough, she wrote a book about the experience.

Ms. Moore’s book is called A Little Twist of Texas, and you can read excerpts of it at her website, which also has a link to her blog, and shares many more of her adventures.

We applaud the spirit of Linda Moore, and all women on wheels.

From my friends at MoronLife, a bit of laughter for the long weekend.

Celebrating its 25th anniversary, USA TODAY has been releasing top 25 lists each week of everything from biggest public meltdowns to top TV moments to most memorable quotes. In this week’s edition, the news giant revealed its list of 25 cars that made a difference.

The Top 10: 1992 Toyota Camry; 1991 Ford Explorer; 2001 Toyota Prius; 1984 Chrysler minivans; 1986 Hyundai Excel; 1986 Ford Taurus; 1990 Lexus LS 400; 1990 Mazda Miata; 1986 Acura Legend and 1996 Toyota RAV4. For a complete list, visit http://www.usatoday.com/news/top25-vehicles.htm.

Just when you thought it was safe to venture back out onto the city streets without fear of being accosted by such automotive atrocities as:

Spinner hubcaps:

or Truck Nutz:

All of a sudden there’s a new player in town to sap the remaining class and dignity out of your ride. Enter RhineStripes and RhineFlames from the minds of LA Stones FX. Here are some examples of these - ummm…. products.

That last one was especially disturbing to me, since it’s a Lamborghini Countach. It looks like whoever owns that car lost a bet to a crazy cat lady with a Bedazzler. There is no sane person who pays $300,000 for a Lamborghini Countach and then sticks rhinestone pinstripes on it.

Thanks to Zach for sending the link to me!

Lamborghini Countach, RhineStripes, RhineFlames, LA Stone FX, TruckNutz, Bedazzler

OK, I promise this post won’t be nearly as creepy as the headline.

I just wanted to shout out a quick comment that I’m incredibly happy and proud that my foo-foo little girl asked me for a Transformers toy this past weekend when we were out shopping. Here’s the one she picked out, Bumblebee:

Coooool!

–Will

Transformers, Bumblebee, toy, Camaro, autobot, foo-foo little girl

This is the sort of thing you find when you browse around the Auto & Vehicles category on YouTube late at night.

Since it’s Japanese, here’s the idea: Have a pitching machine set to throw a baseball at 100 kilometers per hour (a little over 62 MPH) mounted in the back of a truck going 100 KPH in the other direction. You can guess what happens, but it’s still an interesting visualization.

–Will

youbute, autos, vehicles, auto, truck, pitching, machine, 100 kilometers per hour, physics

Today we’re counting down the 5 coolest music videos for gearheads. Take a few minutes, check out the videos, and feel free to agree or disagree in the comments.

5.) Gretchen Wilson - Redneck Woman
Any girl who goes out muddin’ behind the wheel of a beat-to-hell Chevy 4×4 has got to make this list.

4.) Nelly - Ride Wit Me
Any gearhead reading this blog should immediately recognize the movie on which the premise of this video is based. Smokey and the Bandit, duh. Genius.

3.) Metallica - Fuel
The words on the screen sort of reminds you of the cult classic movie Hot Rods to Hell

2.) Ice Cube - Today was a Good Day
This actually isn’t Ice Cube’s most lowrider-laden video. I think that honor goes to Chrome and Paint, which was actually shot at the 2006 SEMA show in Las Vegas. Awesome. The thing about this video has to do with the song as much as the video. Lots of people have great memories of cruising around listening to this song, and the video captures that perfectly. If the neighborhood in this video looks familiar, you must be a fellow Grand Theft Auto San Andreas player.

1.) ZZ Top - Legs
Oh yeah. What kind of a list would this be without a ZZ Top Eliminator video in the #1 spot? Almost all the singles from ZZ Top’s Eliminator album feature noted car guy Billy Gibbons’ 32 Ford coupe with the ZZ graphics and of course, the ZZ keys. These videos are great - and they usually seem to revolve around slutty looking 80s chicks helping people hook up with each other. This makes sense because who else besides a trio of slutty chicks would be better to help you meet that perfect someone? Add in some pulsing guitar rock and it’s all gravy. These videos are entertaining, the car is incredibly cool and is a very big part of the videos, and the music’s pretty kickin’ too.

The car in the videos from ZZ Top’s Eliminator album was a character all by itself. ZZ Top rode this gimmick for a whole album’s worth of videos, and even tried to take it to the next level for the videos to their next album - Afterburner. As you can see if you can stand to watch the video for “Sleeping Bag”, it didn’t go over as well as I imagine they’d hoped.

Honorable mention:
Ice Cube - Chrome and Paint, Monster Magnet - Space Lord, ZZ Top - Sharp Dressed Man

Did I forget one? Leave me a comment.
–Will

music, video, ZZ Top, Nelly, Metallica, Ice Cube, Gretchen Wilson, car, truck

I never would have figured Ben Stein to be a car guy, but apparently that’s the case. Mr. Stein, known for being brainy, slightly nerdy, and often very dryly humorous, wrote an article for the New York Times about the American auto industry. Here’s an excerpt from his article, titled The Dream That Once Was Detroit:

I AM an American, and therefore I love cars. I am an American and, in America, you are what you drive, and here are some memories.

This is the only dream I remember from all of high school: Instead of my light blue, miserable 1955 Chevrolet, I had a white 1962 Corvette like the one my pal Calvin Kline (not the designer) had, and Gay Patlen, my high school dream girl, kissed me on the lips (in the dream). You are what you drive. Even in your dreams.

I like this guy. Click here to read the rest of the article.

–Will

Ben Stein, American cars, automobile, industry, Detroit, Big 3

Found on NASCAR.com last year sometime…

Where To Live After Retirement Guide:

You can live in Phoenix where …

1. You are willing to park three blocks away because you found shade.
2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have more than 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can Live in California where …

1. You make more than $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You can Live in New York where …

1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is “nature.”
4. You believe that being able to speak at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You’ve worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Maine where …

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where …

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. “Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.
3. “He needed killin’ ” is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.

You can live in Colorado where…

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day-care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest where…

1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at?”
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was different!”

And you can live in Florida where …

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often are driven by headless people.
6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot and snowbirds.

Phoenix, California, deep south, Florida, Maine, Colorado, Midwest, road construction

As a car guy, car commercials tend to catch my eye. Well, sometimes they do. Sometimes a commercial is made and released into the wild that makes everyone notice, not just car guys. The following commercials are a few of my favorites, in no particular order.

After the Dude, you bought a girl car? post last week, I got a few comments from people who were surprised that the Chevy HHR didn’t make the list. Do you think automakers design a car and instantly know what kind of person is most likely going to buy it? Makes you wonder when you see this commercial, which always makes me laugh. When you see the tagline at the end, are they saying that girls should get one because guys can’t keep their hands off it? That’s like saying the HHR is like the roofies of current production automobiles. Anyway, here’s the commercial:

A few years back, BMW created a site called BMW Films and had a few very well known movie directors (Guy Ritchie, Ang Lee, John Woo, etc) make eight incredibly good mini-movies that doubled as car commercials. The mini-films had recognizable actors (Clive Owen, Mickey Rourke, Stellan Skarsgard, Lois Smith, Madonna, etc.) and were longer than the thirty second spots that were common on television. What BMW did by putting this much time and effort into car commercials was to get consumers to actually seek out BMW commercials; as opposed to simply being exposed to them. The result was a landmark campaign that ran for four years that has been imitated with less success by competitors. The following is my favorite in the series:

I have to confess: I love lowriders. I would love to have one of these awesome hopping Impalas. This commercial is one of two I remembered from Chevrolet. The other one was for the Silverado SS, and at least I found the music for that one Return of the Tres - Delinquent Habits (if you wanna see/hear this awesome song, go to the link, click on Videos, the Return of the Tres - you won’t regret it). Unfortunately, I couldn’t find both commercials. If anyone finds the other one, I’d love to have it or a link to it. The music on this one is “I’ll be Around” by The Spinners. Good stuff.

Unfortunately, the newer Impala they’re trying to sell in this commercial looks really out of place. By showing this commercial and the culture that sprung up around the older Chevrolets, it makes everyone very much aware of the gap between those much revered older Chevys and the newer ones.

(more…)

Disclaimer:

Please note that we here at AutomotiveBlogger.net are not recommending cars for girls, nor are we recommending men don’t buy the following cars. This blog is written in the United States of America, and for the time being we are all free to buy whichever car we wish. If I happen to name the car that’s in your driveway and you suddenly feel insulted, well, lighten up, Francis. My aim with this post not to insult, but rather it is to point out that at some point after buying one of the cars on this list that you will most likely hear a comment about your car being a “girl car”. If you’re a “damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead” kind of person then not only do you have my admiration and respect, but you are also free to read on, Admiral Farragut. If you are not and you buy one of the cars on this list, then don’t say I didn’t warn you.

5.) Mazda Miata

When the Mazda Miata was introduced in 1989 as a 1990 model, it was meant to herald the second coming of convertible sports cars that were small, handled great, and were sparse on conveniences. Sports car guys were giddy, especially the editors at car magazines like Car and Driver and Road and Track, who saw the Miata as a return to cars like the Lotus Elan and the MGB of the mid 1900s. Unfortunately, they were really cute and affordable and became the epitome of a top-down-at-the-mall girl car. The Miata is pretty far down the list due to a seriously fanatic group of supporters at places like Miata.net, a pretty hardcore racing series, and the awesomely badass Monster Miata conversions.

4.) Toyota RAV4

With as many soccer moms as you see driving tank-like SUVs down the road, you’d think picking a girl-SUV would have been easier than I found it to be. Since Marge Simpson’s Canyonero isn’t a real car, I picked the small SUV that I’ve never known to have been bought by a guy for himself (including the one I looked to buy - not for myself): The Toyota RAV4. Just look at it. If it were smaller, you could totally picture it in a woman’s closet, couldn’t you?

3.) Volkswagen (New) Beetle

I have to confess: I love Volkswagen Beetles. Older ones, that is. I have all the Herbie movies on DVD, and I even have a Herbie Rides Again paperback book. For being as groovy and cult-worthy as the old ones were, the newer ones just don’t look right with a man behind the wheel. Volkswagen may as well embrace their image and make a Hello Kitty edition of this car.

2.) Mustang Convertible (especially the four and six cylinder versions)

Cute sister of the more macho Mustang GT, this is the car that car guy dads get for their daughters and drive themselves around in on the weekends while the daughter is “grounded”. Suuuuurrrre it’s your daughter’s car, car guy dads of America. Whatever you guys need to tell yourselves to sleep better at night. It’s her car.

1.) Volkswagen Rabbit/Golf Cabriolet

This is the quintessential girl car. It’s impossible for a guy to drive one for a week and not hear comments about how “girly” it is from guys and “cute” it is from girls. As if they just plain gave up on any semblance of masculinity, Volkswagen even used the French word for “car with a folding top”.

If I ever saw a male construction worker jump into one of these after a hard day on the job, I would have an immediate coronary.

There you have it. Anybody remember one I missed?

–Will Thompson

girl car, miata, mazda, volkswagen, golf, rabbit, convertible, escape, ford, mustang, toyota, RAV4

Today will be my last post as the full time writer for automotiveblogger.net. I have had a lot of fun writing this blog, have learned a lot and hopefully have entertained and educated a few readers. I want to thank everyone who helped to get this blog off the ground and help it to become a very successful site for 451 Press. I would also like to thank the staff at 451 for giving me the opportunity to write for them, and I wish them great success in the future. Maybe one day down the road I will be able to write a guest blog or two.

Until then…

-Bill Mertz

GT40, racing, Ford, LeMans

Along time ago I read something about big rig trucks hauling heavy loads across thick frozen over water in the dead of winter. As I recall they could only do it for a narrow window of time, but the advantage was it cut a massive distance off the trip when compared to the routes that had to be used in warmer months, and in some cases there was no overland access during warmer months.

This memory prompted me to do a little bit of research on the subject and I was happy to stumble across a few great websites as well as a very informative article in popular mechanics on the subject of ice roads. As it turns out my recollections weren’t that far off. As William (Diesel Gypsy) Weatherstone describes on his website,

The Northern Territories & Provinces of Canada have a unique winter trucking program that is unparalleled in the world. In the harsh environment of -30 to -70 degrees Fahrenheit below zero, (not counting any wind chill factor) men build highways of ice into the Arctic Tundra.

During a short period of a few months in the winter, when the muskeg and lakes are frozen over, it is possible to build a frozen roadway to transport a year’s supply of equipment, food and the necessities of life, at a more practical, reasonable cost. Anyone with stock shares in these mining ventures, owe the ice men of the north for the extra profits gained.

These brave truckers risk life and limb to deliver their payloads battling severe weather, high risk of mechanical failure, and they even occasionally break through the ice. It is not a job for the faint of heart. Yet each winter the trucks load up and head north across the frozen expanses.

The Popular Mechanics article located here is a really great read on the subject and I highly recommend it if you have any interest in these great Canadian ice roads. Also be sure to check out the Diesel Gypsy website for plenty of good information and some great pictures.

-Bill Mertz

Canada, ice roads, diesel, trucks, frozen, tundra, ice, big rigs, tractor, trailer, hauling, mining, arctic